I waited and waited, and when no message came,
I knew it must have been from you.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in
People often mistake what I say for what I am thinking.
-- Idi Amin Dada
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to
speak it to?
-- Clarence Seward Darrow
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood
by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry,
it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac
When I use a word it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more
-- Humpty Dumpty, in Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass (1871)
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone
has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University
They that will not be counseled, cannot be helped. If you do not hear
reason she will rap you on the knuckles.
Before I speak, I am master of the words; after, the word is master
-- Solomon Ibn Gabirol
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
No, no, I'm not saying anything of the kind. In fact, I'm very consciously
avoiding saying anything.
-- Alexander Haig
If we use words, there is a very grave danger they will be misinterpreted.
-- H. R. Haldeman
Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
And what is more, I agree with everything I have just said.
-- Piet Koornhoff, South African ambassador to the US
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and
say the opposite.
-- Sam Levenson
Unless a man feels he has a good enough memory, he should never venture
-- Michel Eyquem Montaigne
Je n'ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n'ai pas eu le loisir
de la faire plus courte.
--Blaise Pascal, Lettres Provinciales, xvi (1657)
[I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to
make it shorter.]
I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
-- Dan Quayle
Televison allows thousands of people to laugh at the same joke and still
-- Bertrand Russell
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on; it is never of
any use to oneself.
Questions are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are.
-- Oscar Wilde