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I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have been from you.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
--Winston Churchill

People often mistake what I say for what I am thinking.
-- Idi Amin Dada

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?
-- Clarence Seward Darrow

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac

When I use a word it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.
-- Humpty Dumpty, in Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass (1871)

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University

They that will not be counseled, cannot be helped. If you do not hear reason she will rap you on the knuckles.
--Benjamin Franklin

Before I speak, I am master of the words; after, the word is master of me.
-- Solomon Ibn Gabirol

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

No, no, I'm not saying anything of the kind. In fact, I'm very consciously avoiding saying anything.
-- Alexander Haig

If we use words, there is a very grave danger they will be misinterpreted.
-- H. R. Haldeman

Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

And what is more, I agree with everything I have just said.
-- Piet Koornhoff, South African ambassador to the US

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
-- Sam Levenson

Unless a man feels he has a good enough memory, he should never venture to lie.
-- Michel Eyquem Montaigne

Je n'ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n'ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte.
--Blaise Pascal, Lettres Provinciales, xvi (1657)
[I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.]

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
-- Dan Quayle

Televison allows thousands of people to laugh at the same joke and still remain alone.
-- Bertrand Russell

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
-- Voltaire

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.
--Oscar Wilde

Questions are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are.
-- Oscar Wilde

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